The White Elephant
The crisp winter, morning air infiltrates my insides as I take a big breath in, absorbing my last day outside. I know I must return to the hospital soon if I wish to see another Christmas on earth, but I don’t want to go back I just simply don’t. Which over the past few months I have let play over and over in my head. Everyone hates seeing me in this much pain and the doctors don’t even know if more surgery will help me get better or not they just know it will make my pitiful life a little bit longer. I guess I would like that but honestly I don’t think another year is worth all that pain. It’s like poison running through my veins and body, throwing up, and burning, my organs were literally failing one by one inside of me and after the treatment was over I was left with severe damage in my lungs, liver, brain, and heart. The doctors told me that because I had a concussion from cheer it was possible my brain would fail in my many surgeries, luckily I turned out okay. That is until now, all the treatments were horrible but it was supposed to make me normal again, supposed to make me healthy. But it didn’t they had all lied to me, my sarcoidosis came back only three months later, and they said I had a 2% chance of surviving the next couple weeks. Three months to live and I didn’t even appreciate it, that makes me so furious, but it’s not their fault. My heart knows that but it just feels that way.
Its Christmas morning for heaven’s sake why am I not happy I am supposed to be celebrating I have made it this far. Well, but I know why it’s because this hell bound disease is living in my neglected body. Just as I was letting that sink in, our doorbell rang my dad had wired it to sing a Christmas tune just as I had always wanted. Things like that were happening a lot lately all my little wants were being fulfilled all at once I guess they wanted my last couple weeks to be the best ones of my life. I was grateful but it also made all this seem too real, too depressing.
I answered the door to find a simple basket with a little white stuffed elephant placed inside, along with a letter addressed to me. I looked around to find the deliverer but there was no one in sight. I took the anonyms package inside and shut the world out. I placed the elephant in my lap and read the letter in my head. I predicted it was a boy solely on the crappy handwriting, it read as follows:
Dear Layla,
You don’t know me but I know you, and I know that sounds really creepy but I promise I’m not a stalker please just keep reading (allowing myself to continue letting my eyes travel down the worn paper was the best decision I had ever made). I have been placed in the room next to you for the past year, and we share the same disease. I doubt you have ever noticed me but seeing your beautiful smile despite all the torture our bodies are put through has made my day every single day. You have most likely never been able to live a normal life like me and I know you aren’t doing too well, I hoped and prayed so hard your pain would stop and you would win your fight but I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I am truly sorry for everything that has happened to you, and I actually do understand what you are going through. (This is when the tears began to stream down my face a slight sobs escaped my lungs) I guess I just thought you should know before it was too late that there is someone out there that cares for you and YOU are the most perfect creation I have ever laid eyes on. My name is Logan Andrews and I have secretly liked you for months but never had the courage to tell you until now. (A melancholy smile spread across my smile as I realized that someone other than my parents could actually like me) The elephant was the only thing in the gift shop that didn’t have a cliché on it, so I hope you like the gift and I made your day a little brighter. See you soon.
You’re not so secret anymore admirer,
Logan
Its Christmas morning for heaven’s sake why am I not happy I am supposed to be celebrating I have made it this far. Well, but I know why it’s because this hell bound disease is living in my neglected body. Just as I was letting that sink in, our doorbell rang my dad had wired it to sing a Christmas tune just as I had always wanted. Things like that were happening a lot lately all my little wants were being fulfilled all at once I guess they wanted my last couple weeks to be the best ones of my life. I was grateful but it also made all this seem too real, too depressing.
I answered the door to find a simple basket with a little white stuffed elephant placed inside, along with a letter addressed to me. I looked around to find the deliverer but there was no one in sight. I took the anonyms package inside and shut the world out. I placed the elephant in my lap and read the letter in my head. I predicted it was a boy solely on the crappy handwriting, it read as follows:
Dear Layla,
You don’t know me but I know you, and I know that sounds really creepy but I promise I’m not a stalker please just keep reading (allowing myself to continue letting my eyes travel down the worn paper was the best decision I had ever made). I have been placed in the room next to you for the past year, and we share the same disease. I doubt you have ever noticed me but seeing your beautiful smile despite all the torture our bodies are put through has made my day every single day. You have most likely never been able to live a normal life like me and I know you aren’t doing too well, I hoped and prayed so hard your pain would stop and you would win your fight but I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I am truly sorry for everything that has happened to you, and I actually do understand what you are going through. (This is when the tears began to stream down my face a slight sobs escaped my lungs) I guess I just thought you should know before it was too late that there is someone out there that cares for you and YOU are the most perfect creation I have ever laid eyes on. My name is Logan Andrews and I have secretly liked you for months but never had the courage to tell you until now. (A melancholy smile spread across my smile as I realized that someone other than my parents could actually like me) The elephant was the only thing in the gift shop that didn’t have a cliché on it, so I hope you like the gift and I made your day a little brighter. See you soon.
You’re not so secret anymore admirer,
Logan